Deep Thought: What’s an “ideal” father?

First, personally define “father”?

Now, let’s look up the definition according to the dictionary..

Father | Definition of Father by Merriam-Webster merriam-webster.com
“..Definition of father
1 a : a man who has begotten a child; also : sire 3
b capitalized
(1) : god 1
(2) : the first person of the Trinity (see Trinity 1)
2 : forefather

the founding fathers

3 a : one related to another in a way suggesting that of father to child
b : an old man —used as a respectful form of address
4 often capitalized : a pre-Scholastic (see scholastic 1a) Christian writer accepted by the church as an authoritative witness to its teaching and practice — called also church father
5 a : one that originates or institutes

the father of modern science

b : source

the sun, the father of warmth and light —Lena M. Whitney

c : prototype

the father of all libraries in the country

6 : a priest of the regular clergy; broadly : priest —used especially as a title
7 : one of the leading men (as of a city) —usually used in plural

a council of the city fathers
..”

Are you able to use any of the definitions above for your “dad” (e.g. biological, adoptive, “man” who raised you, etc..)?

Some people probably would say “no” if you live in America..

Fatherless Children Statistics and Other Data on Fatherhood | NFI
“..There is a father absence crisis in America.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home. Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today…”

What’s your personal story? Was it due to divorce?

The 10 Most Common Reasons People Get Divorced headshot By YourTango huffingtonpost.com
“..communication problems came out on top as the number one reason marriages fail. Here are some other culprits our experts blame for the high divorce rate.

1. Getting in for the wrong reasons.

Marrying for money — we’ve all heard that that is a ticket to a quick divorce, but what about when you marry because it’s what you think you should do?

I’ve met many divorced women who say the problems that made them leave were there right from the beginning but “everyone expected us to live happily ever after” or “we had already spent so much money on the wedding” or “we had just built our dream home.” So, remember, until you say “I do,” you always have the choice to say “I don’t!” ..”

The Leading Cause of Divorce – YouTube

The 8 Main Causes of Divorce | Redonkulas.com – YouTube

Divorce Facts Men Need To Hear…

*interesting stats on the importance of having to be there for the kid

Absent Dad

The Consequences of the Absent Dad allprodad.com
“…This is an encouragement to educate and to motivate men to hear the call to battle on behalf of their children. We understand all the obstacles that are set up against you. While there may be obstacles, the consequences to the children remain. Only their dad can change the odds. Some of those consequences are increased chances of depression, behavioral issues, insecurity, bad grades, and higher dropout rates. Both boys and girls are equally susceptible. The natural order of the family is for the man to have authority (not power) to lead and when that authority is abdicated, a vacuum is created that will certainly be filled elsewhere. ..

Dealing With Anger From Having an Absent Father firstthings.org
“..“I can so identify with where LeBron is coming from,” says Kenneth Braswell, executive director of Fathers Incorporated. “I am a black man whose pent-up rage for my absent father drove me to do what I believed to be the right thing, for the right reason and with the right justification. Then I found out it was all wrong.”

Braswell believes, and research concurs, that there are hundreds of thousands of boys and men in America harboring pain and anger as a result of father absence…”

Absent Fathers, Affected Children – YouTube

African-American Community

The Black Fatherhood Project

25 million U.S. kids grow up without Dads

CNN
Published on Sep 27, 2012
NBA stars Amare Stoudemire and Etan Thomas will speak to 300 men in Rikers Prison about the honor of being a father.

Tyrese: There’s a black fatherhood crisis

HLN
Published on Dec 3, 2012
There’s a crisis in the black community when it comes to fathers living outside the home. A recent study indicates that the number of African-American dads who don’t live with their children is nearly double that of white fathers.HLN’s Mike Galanos talks with actor and father Tyrese, along with daddy blogger Eric Payne, about what needs to be done to change the family dynamics. For more informaton please visit http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/06/14…

Makes Me Wanna Holler.com – How To Be A Man, A … About E.Payne makesmewannaholler.com

Bishop T.D. Jakes Speaks On The Importance Of Fatherhood In The …

Roland S. Martin
Published on Dec 26, 2011
Roland Martin and Bishop T.D. Jakes talk one-on-one about the importance of fathers in the African-American community, the Bishop Eddie L. Long scandal and what Black men look for in leadership.

Daughters

Impact of Absent Fathers on Girls – YouTube

Movies

The 40 Best Movies to Watch on Father’s Day BY KRISTEN YOONSOO KIM
MAY 21, 2019 elle.com
From father-daughter comedies to heartbreaking art films and classic dad-bait action thrillers, here are the best movies that celebrate dads.

“..The Lion King (1994)
..

There are so many Disney movies in which a mother is the key parental figure, but this jungle-set Hamlet adaptation is a heart-wrencher for the tragic loss of Simba’s father, Mufasa. It is impossible to watch the stampede scene without fully sobbing—a great Father’s Day activity if you ask me. But it won’t be a downer all the way through: Hakuna Matata will get you through….

*see Movie Reflection: “Lion King” goodnewseverybodycom.wordpress.com

Reconcile with your Dad

-Movie
*see Movie Reflection: “Field of Dreams” goodnewseverybodycom.wordpress.com

Ray Kinsella’s father returning to Field of Dreams, again, for 30th Anniversary Sat., June 15, 2019 thegazette.com
Actor returning to the heaven he found in E. Iowa
“..Brown played John Kinsella, a former minor league player and late father of Ray Kinsella, played by Kevin Costner. The two never reconciled after a rift when Ray was 17. They argued over the guilt or innocence of John’s idol, Shoeless Joe Jackson, one of eight White Sox players accused of throwing the 1919 World Series in a gambling deal, in what became known as the Black Sox Scandal.

Now an adult, Ray is the novice farmer who heard a voice saying the movie’s other famous tagline, “If you build it, he will come.” Believing the “he” to be Jackson, Ray builds the ball diamond, against all the warnings that he’d go bankrupt tearing up the cornfield.

Spoiler alert: At the movie’s end, Ray discovers the “he” actually refers to his father, who has emerged with the other ghost players for a game there. After an awkward meeting between father and son, as John turns to disappear back into what’s left of the cornfield, Ray mends their broken hearts with a simple invitation: “Hey, Dad? You wanna have a catch?”
..”

Hey Dad. Do you want to have a catch?

We asked “If you could say anything to your Dad right now, what would it be?”

If you could say anything to your dad (dead, alive, etc..) right now, what would it be ?

MercyMe’s Bart Millard thought his father was going to kill him Brad Schmitt, Nashville Tennessean Published 9:00 a.m. CT Feb. 13, 2018 | Updated 6:43 p.m. CT June 16, 2018 tennessean.com
“..His dad switched from a razor strap to a wooden paddle halfway through the beating.

Bart Millard, only 8 or 9, was terrified.

He’d been beaten before, often. But this time was different…

Millard’s dad wasn’t always a monster. In fact, Arthur Wesley Millard Jr. was a beloved high school football hero, one of only two All-Americans from his rural Texas town of Greeneville, about 45 miles northeast of Dallas.

Everyone called him “Bub,” and even though he was a big bear of a guy, he was more teddy than grizzly.

Until the accident.

While flagging cars for the Texas highway department, Arthur Millard got hit by a diesel truck, a collision that put him in a coma for eight weeks…

*see Health: How to “deal” with concussions? goodnewshealthandfitness.wordpress.com

“Growing tensions

When he regained consciousness, “Bub” was a different guy. His attitude and temperament darkened. Combative with orderlies, crude with nurses, Arthur Millard eventually was restrained.

Three years later, the couple’s second child, Bart, was born. Tension in the house grew, and Millard’s parents divorced when the boy was only 3…”

*see Movie Reflection: “I Can Only Imagine” goodnewseverybodycom.wordpress.com

Sal: After reading the article above and watching the movie awhile ago, I connected the two and maybe his dad’s car accident played a part on his dad’s abusive behavior. I watched a video from Dr. Phil on how this husband was very “rude” to his wife, and they found out there was something that had to deal with his brain (injury before). This is a lesson about the importance of “understanding” one another.

Music

TobyMac – Family (Lyrics)

How LL Cool J Learned to Forgive His Father | Oprah’s … – YouTube

Reconciling

CONFRONTING MY DAD – YouTube

A Pastor Reunited with His Father || STEVE HARVEY – YouTube

TV. Shows

The Top 10 Black TV Fathers of All Time Michael Harriot
6/19/16 2:04am theroot.com

Father’s Day Everyday

Suggestions, feedback, personal stories, etc..?

more coming…

Good News Family
https://www.facebook.com/groups/537041852992814/

Deep Thought: “Hands Up or Down to get ID?”

THE KILLING OF PHILANDO CASTILE

“..Tylor S…10 hours ago
Comply and don’t die, I don’t even have a conceal carry permit and I know you should be on your toes when the police come up if you have one, even more so if you’re a black man, if you’re reaching for something in today’s day and age, you’re gonna get shot to shit by the police because they’re afraid for their lives.///Chinese officer… I thought it was a white guy according to the news?…

Cop Fatally Shoots Black Man, Leaves Victim’s Girlfriend To Record Tragic Aftermath 07/07/2016 02:09 am ET | huffingtonpost.com
“..Castile’s death at the hands of police comes just a day after local cops shot another black man, Alton Sterling, in circumstances that shocked the world. Sterling was selling CDs outside a store in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, on Tuesday when police, responding to a complaint about a man wielding a gun, tackled him in order to arrest him.

Someone yelled that Sterling had a gun and the police shot him at point-blank range while he was subdued on the ground. The shooting was captured in a graphic video that roiled the public’s conscience. The subsequent release of another video confirmed that Sterling was not have a gun in his hands at the time.

Many observers are expressing dismay at the regularity with which police kill unarmed black men in the United States…”
Philando Castile death: Aftermath of police shooting streamed live 7 July 2016 From the section US & Canada bbc.com
”

Philando Castile: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
Published 1:32 am EDT, July 7, 2016 Updated 9:23 am EDT, July 8, 2016 heavy.com/
“..In her Facebook Live video, Lavish Reynolds said that Philando Castile was “licensed to carry” and was “trying to get out his ID” and “let the officer know he had a firearm, and he was reaching for his wallet, and the officer just shot him. … He just shot his arm off.”..

In an emotional press conference held Thursday, which you can view above, Reynolds gave a detailed account of the stop that led to Castile’s death, prompted by a “broken taillight, which wasn’t broken.” She described Castile as “the quietest, most laid-back person you would ever meet. He was loving. … Nothing within his body language said intimidation. Nothing within his body said ‘shoot me.’ Nothing within his body language said ‘kill me, I want to be dead.’ He did not do nothing but what the police officer asked of us, which was to put your hands in the air and get your license and registration.” She said they were returning from the grocery store when stopped, according to CNN.”..

Mangseth said the details were still being investigated. He told the Post that he hadn’t yet seen the Facebook video. At one point in the video, the officer can be heard saying, “I told him not to reach for it! I told him to get his head up!”

Comments:

jstanley01 says:
July 8, 2016 at 11:38 am

When you inform an officer that you are armed, you need to follow the officer’s instructions exactly. Not reach for your wallet when he is telling you to keep your hands where he can see them. How in the hell is the officer supposed to know what you are reaching for? A white would have gotten shot for the exact same thing I guarantee you.

Van Blam says:
July 8, 2016 at 12:29 pm

According to reports the officer asked to see his ID after Castile told him that he was armed and had a permit. If he was reaching for his ID to comply with the officer’s request, that cop is guilty of murder. I’m not saying the cop intentionally murdered him rather that he was jittery and overreacted. Do you really think that he would have reacted to a white guy the same way he did with Castile? Nope. I wouldn’t be surprised if this officer ends it all. He knows he’s in deep sh*t.

..
Read Mark Zuckerberg’s Response to the Video of Philando Castile’s Shooting Rishi Iyengar @Iyengarish July 7, 2016 time.com

Police group: Minn. governor ‘exploited what was already a horrible and tragic situation’
By T. Rees Shapiro, Lindsey Bever, Wesley Lowery and Michael E. Miller July 8 at 3:10 PM washingtonpost.com
“..ST. PAUL, Minn. — The morning after Minnesota’s governor said Philando Castile ended up dead during a traffic stop in part because he was black — and after five police officers were killed during a shooting attack in downtown Dallas — the head of a national police organization said law enforcement officers across the country are distraught, angry and anxious…”

Two Phony Excuses for Shooting Philando Castile-
Jeronimo Yanez’s defenders falsely portray Castile as a disobedient stoner.
Jacob Sullum|Jun. 22, 2017 8:30 am reason.com
“..oxicology tests found THC in Castile’s blood, but post-mortem levels are an unreliable indicator of impairment because THC is stored in body fat and re-enters the bloodstream after death. Even when blood is drawn from a living source, THC levels cannot be directly tied to impairment, partly because individual responses vary widely and regular users develop tolerance. It is therefore not clear whether Castile was under the influence of marijuana at the time of the shooting or, if so, how intoxicated he might have been.

Castile was disobedient. The question of Castile’s cannabis consumption is relevant only if you accept the defense argument that marijuana impaired his ability to follow Yanez’s instructions, as evidenced by his failure to do as he was told. But the dashcam video of the shooting does not support the claim that Castile was uncooperative. To the contrary, he interacted with Yanez calmly and politely, handed over his insurance card as instructed, and let the officer know he was carrying a concealed firearm (for which he had a permit). According to Reynolds, whose account on this point has always been consistent, Castile was reaching for his wallet so he could retrieve his driver’s license, which Yanez had also requested, when the officer became agitated.

Notably, Yanez never told Castile to stop moving, to keep his hands in plain view, or to put them on the dashboard. Instead he told Castile, “Don’t pull it out,” referring to the handgun. “I’m not pulling it out,” Castile assured Yanez. “He’s not pulling it out,” Reynolds reiterated. This is the point at which Yanez freaked out, screaming, “Don’t pull it out!” He immediately drew his pistol and fired seven rounds at Castile, who managed to say “I wasn’t reaching for it” before he died.

You can argue that Castile should have realized his movements were making Yanez nervous or that he should have proactively put his hands on the dashboard, even though Yanez had not told him to do so. But it is not accurate to say that Castile disobeyed Yanez’s commands. All the evidence suggests that Castile thought he was doing what Yanez wanted by retrieving his driver’s license. It was Yanez who made mistaken assumptions about Castile (viewing him as a robbery suspect based on no real evidence, viewing him as a deadly threat after Castile disclosed that he had a gun), failed to communicate his wishes, failed to take routine precautions (such as instructing Castile to put his hands on the dashboard or stepping back from the car window), and flew into a panic within seconds.

It is true that Castile might still be alive had he acted differently. If he had never mentioned the gun, for example, he in all likelihood would have survived the encounter. But even though Minnesotans with concealed-carry permits are not legally required to tell police about their guns when they are pulled over, cops prefer that they do so to avoid scary surprises, and experts generally recommend disclosure. Castile was doing what he thought he was supposed to do when he said, “Sir, I have to tell you that I do have a firearm on me.” It turned out to be a fatal mistake only because of Yanez’s unprofessional, irrational reaction…”

Officer Side of the Story

Officer’s Attorney: ‘He Is Deeply Saddened for The Family and Loved Ones of Philando Castile Nate Leding
Updated: 07/09/2016 10:01 AM kstp.com
“…“He is deeply saddened for the family and loved ones of Philando Castile. Tragically, the use of force became necessary in reacting to the actions of Mr. Castile. This heartbreaking incident had nothing to do with race. It had to do with the presence of a gun.”

According to a BCA release, Officer Yanez and Officer Joseph Kauser conducted a traffic stop about 9:17 p.m. Wednesday near the intersection of Larpenteur Avenue West and Fry Street in Falcon Heights. Castile, of St. Paul, was the driver of the vehicle involved in the stop.

Both officers have been with the St. Anthony Police Department for four years.

Both are on standard administrative leave.

Yanez approached the vehicle from the driver’s side as Kauser approached from the passenger side. At one point during the exchange, Yanez fired his weapon, striking Castile multiple times, according to the BCA.

Yanez radioed for an ambulance as members of the Roseville Police Department and the St. Paul Fire Department administered medical aid…”
Who Is Jeronimo Yanez? The Cop Who Shot Philando Castile Has Been Identified Alana Romaina day ago (7.9.16) romper.com
“…While filming, Reynolds was told by Yanez, who sounded agitated, to keep her hands in the air. She replied, “I will, sir, no worries. I will,” and Yanez could then be heard yelling, “I told him not to reach for it. I told him to get his hand off it.”

Although Yanez’s face couldn’t be seen on the video, the Minnesota Department of Public Safety Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (BCA) released his and Kauser’s name to the public Friday, according to The Daily Mail. Twenty-eight-year-old Yanez has been an officer with the St. Anthony Police Department for the past four years, but is now on paid administrative leave pending an investigation. The Department has not responded to Romper’s request for comment regarding the shooting.

Details about Yanez are still scarce, although The Daily Mail noted that now-deleted accounts linked to Ynez on wedding site The Knot and its related pregnancy site The Bump suggested he was married to his wife in November 2014, and that they welcomed a child together on August 4, 2015. Yanez appears to have no prior criminal record, other than a few minor traffic violations. Castile’s death is reportedly the first officer-related shooting in the St. Anthony Police Department in 30 years….”
Officer Jeronimo Yanez, an ‘all-around good guy,’ fired shots that killed Castile
By Mara Gottfried / St. Paul Pioneer Press on Jul 8, 2016 at 8:26 p.m inforum.com
“…The city’s annual report also notes Yanez’s involvement in volunteering, including giving a tour of the police station to a local Cub Scout troop and volunteering at St. Paul’s Cinco de Mayo celebration….

John Lozoya, the founder of the Minnesota Chapter of the National Latino Peace Officers Association, said Yanez has been an active volunteer through that organization as well.

He referred to him as “passionate” and “good-natured” and asked that the public be patient as the investigation into Castile’s death continues.

“It’s very easy to jump to conclusions, and it’s almost human nature sometimes to do that. We are all guilty of it,” said Lozoya, who is also a member of law enforcement. “We just ask that people wait until everything comes out on the table before judgment is passed.”..”

PHILANDRO CASTILE & GIRLFRIEND DISCREDITED? , from youtube.com

The Latest: Expert believes motorist was high when shot Published June 08, 2017 Associated Press foxnews.com
“..3 p.m.

A toxicology expert says he believes a black motorist who was shot to death during a traffic stop in Minnesota was under the influence of marijuana.

Glenn Hardin, a former supervisor of Minnesota’s state toxicology lab, testified Thursday as a witness for Officer Jeronimo Yanez. Yanez is charged with manslaughter in the death of 32-year-old Philando Castile last July in a St. Paul suburb.

Defense attorneys have argued Castile was stoned at the time of the shooting, which happened in the seconds after he informed Yanez that he was carrying a gun. Hardin said he examined autopsy reports showing Castile’s blood levels of THC, the substance in marijuana that gives a high.

Prosecutor Jeff Paulsen attacked Hardin’s testimony by citing studies he said show there’s no way to determine marijuana intoxication from blood samples…”

*see Neutral Perspective: Marijuana (“weed”) is “good” and “bad” for you? goodnewseverybodycom.wordpress.com

Music

Boosie BadAzz – Hands Up (Official Video)
from youtube.com

Others

Raw Video: Dash Cam Video of the Shooting
“Published on Sep 24, 2014

Video released by the South Carolina Highway Patrol of an encounter between a trooper and a man in Columbia, SC on Sept. 24, 2014…”
Fatal shootings by on-duty police officers: An analysis | The … washingtonpost.com
Cop Shoots Man Reaching For Drivers License [Video] , from youtube.com

This was my reply to the blog up above..

“goodnewseverybodycom says:
July 8, 2016 at 3:26 pm

Thoughts & Prayers for the family 😦 I’ve learned to not be quick to “judge”, so we need to be patient and hear both sides of the story. Each “police shooting” is an individual case. We can’t judge all law enforcement by this one action. Unfortunately, it’s hard not to with all these cases (epidemic) around the country. What is the solution? Praying and wanting to act too to make a “positive” change!
..”

How Castile Told Officer About Gun Was Critical in Final Moments
By amy forliti and kyle potter, associated press

·MINNEAPOLIS — Jul 14, 2016, 7:57 PM ET abcnews.go.com
‘…St. Anthony police training documents outline how an officer should respond to traffic stops. According to the documents, if an officer believes it’s a high-risk stop — as one involving an armed robbery suspect would likely be — he should have the driver and others exit the car before approaching the vehicle, while officers take cover and draw their weapons.
..”

Watching the video got me very frustrated and also sad. There are a lot of mix emotions out there. Just turn it to “positive” as I feel “good” can come out of “bad”. Feel free to share your thoughts, suggestions, prayers, etc..

Good News St. Paul
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1407048736201740/

Others:

Officer Betty Shelby Charged with Felony Manslaughter in Shooting Death of Terence Crutcher
September 22, 2016 lovebscott.com
“..In dashcam and helicopter video released by police, Terence Crutcher appears to have his hands up moments before he is shot by Shelby. Shelby’s attorney, Scott Wood, maintains that Terence refused to follow more than two dozen commands and that he reached into the open window of the car before Shelby perceived a threat and shot him.

The Crutcher family’s attorneys Benjamin L. Crump and Damario Solomon-Simmons said the window was up, evidenced by the blood spattered on it when he was shot…”
BREAKING: Truth About Terence Crutcher Comes Out… It’s BAD for the Media conservativetribune.com
“…Now, you watch that video and listen to the commentary. Did it look to you like Crutcher was following commands? You can hear an officer say that Crutcher was “still walking” and that he wasn’t “following commands.” Another officer said that he “could be on something.”

Take a look at these pictures Bearing Arms grabbed from the video that disprove the media’s false narrative:…

As you can see, Crutcher was not shot with his hands up. He was clearly flouting officer orders, and at the time of his shooting he lowered his right hand toward his waistband.

Oh, and by the way, the media have run with the story that Crutcher was unarmed, but didn’t seem too interested in the PCP that was found in his car and that the Tulsa Police Department officer who shot Crutcher, Betty Shelby, was trained to spot PCP abuse, according to Bearing Arms.

In any of these cases, the legal system should be given time to do its job, but the media have decided to run false narratives that fit their agenda without all the facts and, in some cases, despite the facts.

As you can see above, there’s clearly more to the story….”

Solution: Improve Law Enforcement’s Credibility?