Deep Thought: Can I forgive my significant “other” that just hurt me?

We hear about forgiving our enemies when it comes to a political warfare or even bullies we grew up with. However, can we forgive those that we had a personal relationship (e.g. spouse, ex boyfriend/girlfriend, former friend, relative/family member, etc..)?

HUSBAND perspective

Forgive a Cheating Wife – How to Move on From the De-Masculation of Infidelity selfgrowth.com
“..

It Will Take Time to Forget Her Unfaithfulness

You will always look back on this as one of the hardest periods in your life, but again, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to learn ‘how to get over my wife’s affair’, it just means it harder. The old mantra, forgive and forget, can NOT be applied to this situation. No matter how hard you try, the experience of this affair will remain in your mind…”

BOTH

John & Lisa Bevere | How To Heal Your Marriage, from youtube.com

Forgiveness Won’t Fix Your Toxic Relationship
We are always called to forgive; but forgiveness should not be seen as a remedy to another’s character
“…Before we go any further, we must acknowledge that men can also be the victims of emotional abuse—but the statistics are difficult to interpret because men are even less likely than women to report emotional abuse.
..

We are always called to forgive; but forgiveness should not be seen as a remedy to another’s character, rather a soothing balm to protect our own hearts from bitterness.

But we see sisters and brothers letting destructive people into their lives, laboring under the fundamental misunderstanding that forgiveness equals being a doormat. It’s common as Christians to put ourselves in harm’s way, stay in abusive relationships and fail to set healthy boundaries—all under the banner of “forgiveness.” I know from experience.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are very different, yet often confused, perhaps because of the widespread teaching that God forgives us and doesn’t remember our sins. Are we to follow in His steps when we continue in toxic, abusive relationships?…

Dr. Bill Maier on Forgiveness and Restoration

By Bill Maier focusonthefamily.com

WIFE Perspective

Saw her “live” in concert here in Morris years ago..

Cheri Keaggy on Her Divorce (A Story of God’s Restoration and Healing) , from youtube.com
“..Cheri tells her personal story of brokennes and restoration. Her story is similar to many other women’s stories who initially found their hopes and dreams shattered because of divorce.
For many, this is the greatest loss they have ever faced. It devastates them, and they desperately need emotional and spiritual help. They struggle with loneliness and shame. Many of them need to face the pain and begin to forgive themselves and others in order to move forward in life.

This 8-session Christian divorce recovery series covers topics such as loneliness, forgiveness, fear, rebuilding your life, dating, and moving past the shame and guilt to healing and wholeness. The complete Live Again kit comes with a DVD containing the eight 30-minute video sessions, 1 Leader Guide, 1 Participant Guide, and 1 Live Again Journal. Additional Participant Guides and Live Again Journal may be purchased separately. For more information, visit http://www.rose-publishing.com/Live-A…..”

To the Hurting Married Christian Woman: Why Women Stay
Elisabeth Klein Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer 2012 14 Jun crosswalk.com
“…Unless she gets to a place of moving on, of forgiving her husband, of realizing she stayed and that God did not make her or do that to her, and of actually wanting to be happy and experience joy and peace. Until then, she will have the same conversation and ask the same question to the next person who comes her way. In fact, she probably moved on from me and went to someone else moments later, telling the same story. …”

Marriage Restoration Testimony – Ashleigh D. (Jesus saves marriage!)


“In seeking to honor God through turbulent times, Ashleigh found herself at the right place at the right time to meet the right person so that her prayers could be answered. God’s sovereignty spoke through the circumstances and Ashleigh was able to move forward with confidence in God…”

Beth Moore: If My Husband Had An Affair… (James Robison | LIFE Today) , from youtube.com
Can any wife ever forgive a husband who was secretly gay all along? Sarah still can’t, 14 years after the confession that broke her heart dailymail.co.uk
“..She had been engrossed in some paperwork when her estranged husband Peter phoned out of the blue — the first time since their split two years before. In fact, she was more surprised by his making contact than by what he had to say. This despite the fact he was admitting to being homosexual — and having had affairs with men throughout their ten-year marriage….”
Anna Duggar Opens Up About Her Husband’s Betrayal , from youtube.com
“..Published on Dec 16, 2015

Anna speaks out about the moment she learned of Josh’s infidelity and how she’s been doing since the news broke.

JILL & JESSA: COUNTING ON continues Sunday at 9/8c on TLC…”

Children Perspective

divorce and its effects on children , from youtube.com
The Politics of Divorce: When Children Become Pawns
Dr. Schwartz’s Weblog By Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. May 16, 2007 mentalhelp.net
Richard Cohen, M.A. ex-gaytruth.com
“..Richard Cohen was the youngest of three children born to a Jewish couple in Philadelphia. He was a child with a “sensitive nature” and lived in a family defined by its “constant fighting and tears.” His father would come home from work and scream at everyone. When his dad would tear into his older brother, the brother’s aggression would be unleashed on the younger Richard. “Fighting between my parents and fighting among us kids was our daily diet. My role was that of a peacemaker. I was always trying to bring order and peace to this chaotic home.”..”
Paul Ludford – my journey towards healing theforgivenessproject.com
“.. As regards to forgiveness- I’ve forgiven myself for the pain, fear and anger I’ve inflicted on myself and others around me during many years of self-denial. Buried painful memories always manifest themselves somehow and I knew no better until I looked and got help.

Forgiving my dad may come over time, but at the moment I see his self-satisfying sexual abuse of me inexcusable and unforgivable – he took advantage of a young boy for his own pleasure stealing my innocence and childhood. I didn’t have the resources, knowledge and life experiences to deal with the sexual monster my dad was…”
Diagnosing an Emotionally Destructive Relationship
Air Date: June 30, 2014 familylifetoday.com
“.. Licensed clinical social worker Leslie Vernick talks about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother and lists some of the tell-tale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship…”
How Can You Honor Parents When You Feel They Don’t Deserve It?
Ten ideas for repaying insult with blessing.

By Sabrina Beasley McDonald familylife.com

Would love to hear you viewpoint, feedback, story, etc..

Good News Family
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Deep Thought: Why did God choose His Son to be sacrificed?

Why did God choose His Son to be sacrificed? (asked by a friend the other day)

Why Did God Sacrifice His Son for the Sins of Mankind?
Laura Gambino .cbn.com

Why Would God Sacrifice His Only Son? – The Christian Post
http://www.christianpost.com › opinion
The Christian Post
Dec 4, 2014 – Instead, He did the only thing which could rescue us from our lost … If you can wrap your heart and mind around the sacrifice of Jesus on the …
Why did Jesus have to die for our sins?, by Matt Slick carm.org
“..Jesus is God in flesh (John 1:1, 14, Col. 2:9), and only God can satisfy the Law requirements of a perfect life and perfect sacrifice that cleanses us of our sins…”

“…All people have sinned against God. But, God is infinitely holy and righteous. He must punish the sinner, the Lawbreaker. If He didn’t, then His law is not Law, for there is no law that is a law without a punishment. The punishment for breaking the Law is death – separation from God. Therefore, we sinners need a way to escape the righteous judgment of God. Since we are stained by sin and cannot keep the Law of God, then the only one who could do what we cannot is God Himself. That is why Jesus is God in flesh. He is both divine and human. He was made under the Law (Gal. 4:4), and He fulfilled it perfectly. Therefore, His sacrifice to God the Father on our behalf is of infinite value and is sufficient to cleanse all people from their sins and undo the offense to God….”

“Why can’t God forgive sin without the need for a sacrifice Submitted by Lactantius Jr (United Kingdom), May 20, 2009 at 12:14 danielpipes.org
Daniel Pipes
“…So why is a sacrifice needed? What is sin? Why do humans sin? Simply speaking, sin is rebellion against God, it is rebellion against the highest authority. It is an offence against God’s holiness and right to institute all laws. It is saying that we know better what is right and wrong, and we disregard God’s authority, it is disobedience, it is desperately destructive, and is profoundly offensive to the all-holy God revealed in the Bible, Who created our first parents Adam and Eve, with the ability to make choices, and God made it very clear, before Adam’s first sin, that the consequence of sin is death, and that is repeated throughout the Bible, because of the sinful choice that Adam made,..”

Father sacrifice his own son for others


“Published on Mar 10, 2013

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Others:

Did God Really Demand the Death of His Son as a Sacrifice …
theupsidedownworld.com/…/did-god-really-demand-the-death-of-his-so…
May 22, 2012 – The claim that the crucifixion of Jesus was a sacrifice demanded by God, ….. He desires relationship with us and so while he could choose to …
Why did Jesus have to die? – GotQuestions.org
“..From Adam to Jesus, God sent prophets to mankind, warning them of sin’s punishment and foretelling the coming Messiah. One prophet, Isaiah, described Him:..”

Thoughts, feedback, comments, etc..?

Good News Sin
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Deep Thought: Power of Forgiveness shown in my life so far…

Lately, this theme of forgiveness has been circulating where ever I go. I had to “let it out” and write about it. I ran into this video on “spiritual warfare” and the speaker shared this quote that really resonated in me…

“The devil loses, when you forgive..” https://youtu.be/X0yb3zdKeZk Any personal stories, feedback, etc..? more.. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151998231142550&set=oa.736544596358770&type=3&theater

Above is a post I shared in one of my groups (Good News Love) I created on facebook. I’ve heard there is power when we forgive each other, so I would like to start…

If any of my friends read this, please forgive me if I ever wronged you in anyway. I might’ve forgotten it, so please feel free to contact me and remind me if this will help release any resentment, offense, or hurt that will heal you.


*see other Bible verses on forgiveness

One of the causes of “offense” is due to misunderstanding, which we all quickly prejudge. There are times I reflect on my parents fighting and it’s due to the “failure to communicate” (see “Failure to Communicate”-song I wrote). Can you relate? Feel free to share below…

For those that haven’t met me yet or haven’t encountered any offense from me…yet! 😉 I’m sure there are others that might’ve hurt you in various ways (e.g. abuse). Unfortunately, you might not ever get them to forgive you. However, God (Heavenly Father) knows and I encourage you to go to Him for healing of your past hurts.

I’ll share some of my forgiveness stories:

Back in high school, a former “friend” of mine wanted to befriend me after “ignoring” me most of the later years of “middle school”. Not being a Christian at the time, I wouldn’t forgive him and shun him away. Month later, he died in a head-on-collision car accident (visiting his biological Mom all the way in Colorado). I was torn in pieces when I heard the news and wished I reconciled with him. Please don’t make the dumbest mistake as I did, reconcile with those that has hurt you before it’s too late.

During my college and post-college years, I was interested in learning more about WWII (more of the Pacific arena) due to my family’s history (grandfather got capture by the Japanese and survived as a cook and great-grandfather was presumably killed as he never returned home when scoping the vicinity for any Japanese solders). As I read more books of the horrific atrocities the Japanese did in the Philippines and elsewhere, my heart towards the Japanese grew with more hate :(.. Well, God seems to try to soften my heart by bringing Japanese students to the college I attended. Then He brought them to be my renters in the house I owned. My last renter caught me watching some WWII footage of Japan’s horrific treatment. I tried to turned it off, but he saw it and we ended up having a deep conversation. He ended up asking forgiveness for what his ancestors did. I told him no worries, but in my heart-I felt some more compassion for him and the Japanese people overall.

Lastly, this is between me and my Heavenly Father-I gave my life to Christ my freshmen year in college. I did it after hearing a testimony of this speaker at a local church in Morris. This grabbed my heart and got me off my seat to go to the front (alter) and asked God to forgive me all of my sins. That was just the beginning and still in the journey of my faith (still sinning, but trying to sin-less as I grow in my personal relationship with my “Heavenly Dad” :)..

Above are just summaries of some of my stories on forgiveness-repentance. I’ll be glad to share more, but would love to hear yours first. I would love to disclose and be open/transparent/honest with you with my personal challenges-struggles as “we” can help each other in this journey of forgiveness with the “limited uncertain” time we have on this earth…

Good News Everybody
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more… http://life.goodnewseverybody.com/forgiveness.html