“Son, I’m very disappointed with you!” Ever heard this before or something similar? ..from your parents, authoritative adults figure, etc… A father has a right to be disappointed with you if you did something wrong (e.g. getting spanked for disrespecting my dad in front of my friends as I kid) in his eyes, but does that mean he still loves you? Most “good” fathers will say-“yes, of course”, but there are some or many out there that doesn’t communicate that love. For example, I’ve had friends that were “physically” abused. When I hear stories like this, I get more grateful of my “imperfect” loving father. My father really didn’t tell me he loved me, but he “manly” showed it by his actions (e.g. made me breakfast in the morning before going to school, give me fatherly advice on life, etc..).
What about you? How did your father show his “manly” love to you? What was or has been your favorite father-son time?
They may not be really mad as you think, but they just don’t show that kind of love your looking for. Thus, one might “hide in the cave” thinking their father is still mad at them. Some might stay disappointed with you for the wrong reason, which is where you need to know where your Heavenly Father stands. How would you know where your Heavenly Father think about you? Well, I recommend seeking His answer through His Word. It’s hard to please your father or just anybody because no one is perfect. We all have high expectations from each other. For example, when I graduated from college, my mother shared my father’s disappointment where I was going with my college education. Fortunately, I paid my own way through college, so my father didn’t get too mad. I just shook my head without no sadness and just lifted my head up knowing that my Heavenly Father isn’t. Why, it’s because I remember His Word..
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. …15 But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased 16 to reveal his Son in me…-Galatians 1
You see when I became a Christian my first year in college, I became a follower of Christ and not “man”. My mom was “disappointed” when I got water baptized my 3rd year in college because of our “religious” Catholic up-bringing. It’s over 10+ years later that my parents are no longer “disappointed” with my choices I made during college. They learned to accept it as I’m still their son in their flesh. They have seen how I’ve grown “positively” too as I credit my Christian walk. I”m not saying, I do everything “good”, but I’m doing a lot “better” then I was before I became a Christian (see on-going testimony).
However, it wasn’t like this growing-up. When I didn’t know the Lord (I did know “of” Him, but didn’t have that personal Heavenly Father to Son relationship). When a “close one” (older adult) was very critical of things (e.g. my way of dressing ) I did growing-up, I would grow to have a lower self-esteem. However, this “criticism” actually made me “work harder” in things I did. As similar to my dad, this particular “older adult” showed love in a different (e.g. “treated” me out many times) way. I was very quiet and shy most of my years growing-up. I think it was mostly because of my “negative” experience at home, school, workplace, etc.. Each has some long stories, which I can do another blog post for another time. Overall, I didn’t get much affirmation or positive remarks on what I did. I probably got more encouragement from my workplace and playing sports (I had my share of “negativity” too) then at home. My family was great, but it’s a different culture than America. Thus, my expectations through my comparing or envying others made it difficult. We are all blessed in different ways. That is why I’ve learned to list things I’m thankful each night before going to bed. It helps me not focus on my challenges of disappointments in any given day in life as I give it up in prayer. How have you dealt or deal with the “negativity” spoken or acted upon you? Just ignore it (see Chihuahua Puppy Barking Like a Wolf )